


The Paula Prentiss Theory and the Streisand Effect

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Drama, Friendship, Gen, Post-Episode: s15e10 Psycho/Therapist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-20 21:02:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4802105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Her strength are flaws in one aspect of her life while her flaws are gifts in the other.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Paula Prentiss Theory and the Streisand Effect

“I'm good.” Olivia wiped her eyes, barely getting the words out as she heard the door open. She'd gone into the stairwell for a reason. The person probably meant well but she wasn’t sure she could handle it right now.

“Alright.”

She turned a bit to see Rafael Barba walking down the steps toward her. He only said the one word but he sat down beside her. Olivia noticed that he gave her as much room as he could considering. She didn’t want him to see the tears so she turned away. How much did a woman have to pay to have a nervous breakdown in peace? 

“I wish I could’ve done more.” He broke the silence after a few minutes of staring into space and wondering if he should speak at all. “I know this isn't about me, it’s about you and the other people who deserved justice. I just wanted to do that for you.”

“You did your job…everyone did their job. We all know the jury system can go either way. Lewis was a career violent offender who was never punished. He worked that room like a politician getting votes. Some time is better than no time. He's off the street.”

“Yeah.” Barba nodded. “What do you need, Liv?”

His question made her look at him. No one had really asked her that. Everyone said call me if you need anything or let me do this for you but no one asked that. They wanted to make it better, make her better, because that’s what people did when they loved you. 

They also refused to grasp that it wasn’t going to happen overnight. Everyone thought she was stronger than she looked, and maybe that was true. There was only so much a person could take before they broke down. Olivia kept moving fearing that if she ever stopped then she might not get up again.

“I'm hungry.” She said. “I've been nauseous for weeks…I'm nauseous right now. But I'm also starving.”

“Pizza usually works best in situations like that. I don't know what it is but pizza rarely lets you down. Do you want some pizza?”

“Brian…?”

“Fin was going to take him home. Everyone was worried about you but Fin thought since he and I were the only people you hadn’t gone off on yet we would handle this at both ends. I got the Olivia stick.”

“That’s probably for the best.”

“OK.”

Rafael didn’t like Cassidy. He was bad at hiding it because he was just bad at those types of things. When he didn’t like a man his face and body language made it painfully clear. But he and Olivia were an item and had been for a while…it wasn’t Barba’s place to judge or even comment. Now was the wrong time to even be worried about the saga of Olivia and Brian. 

Whatever it was, it was, and it wasn’t going to interfere in their friendship. They were work colleagues, they were friends. Rafael didn’t need to stick his nose in her personal life or vice-versa. He may have thought Cassidy was a douche but clearly he wasn’t seeing the same side of him Olivia did. Why was he even still thinking about it?

“We can go to Hell’s Kitchen, to Mama’s.” he said. “They advertise more flavors than Baskin Robbins.”

“Is that where we had the crab Alfredo pizza delivered from that time, during the Jefferson trial?” Liv asked.

“Yes. They’ve got at least ten beers on tap as well as a decent wine selection for a pizzeria.”

“You're like Yelp, Barba.” She smirked. “You could probably tell me anywhere to eat in this city.”

He loved food. He was a portly kid, picked on mercilessly in his Bronx neighborhood growing up. Food had been a comfort and that hadn’t changed even when his growth spurt came along. He knew so many places in the city, from 5 star to one slice for a dollar because he’d grown up in the shadow of the New York, New York. After Harvard he could’ve gone anywhere…the sky was the limit. 

Many friends thought he was slumming in the DA’s office when he could’ve walked into any high end firm on a three to five year partnership track. That wasn’t who Rafael was. He liked his indulgences, a fair amount of which his salary just managed to cover. More than that, he liked being able to look himself in the eye every day. Selling their souls hadn’t quite bled out into his friends’ daily lives yet, not all of them had succumbed, but the devil always came for his due. 

“I don’t know why but I just wanted to break out into Robin Williams’ version of _A Friend like Me_.” He said. 

“I haven’t really, had a friend like you, so that wouldn’t be far off. Are you one of those guys who knows all the songs in the Disney films?”

“I am.” He nodded. “I love show tunes and the truth is that most modern Disney, especially their late 80s revival beginning with _The Little Mermaid_ , relied heavily on show tune-esque music to sear the songs into the brains of viewers. I call it the Streisand effect but my mother says that’s just because I look for any chance to credit Streisand with something.”

“What's your favorite Streisand film?” Olivia asked.

“Well that surprises most people because it’s one where she doesn’t sing at all. _The Mirror has Two Faces_.”

“Really?”

“Mmm.” He nodded. “I identify the most with her character. She is brilliant, Ivy League educated, but also through birth and her mother’s delusion, forced to live in this society where she doesn’t fit in. Her strength are flaws in one aspect of her life while her flaws are gifts in the other.”

“I never thought about it like that.” Olivia said.

“Yeah, we tend to overanalyze the things that we love.”

“So no emotionally stunted but brilliant Jeff Bridges to come and sweep you off your feet?” when she looked at him, Olivia almost wore a smile.

“No comment. I was partial to the Brenda Vaccaro character anyway…having that friend who stands by you through thick and thin, literally as the movie portrays, was always something I craved more than the unrealistic though very handsome knight in shining armor. You ready to go?”

Barba stood and held out his hand for Olivia. She sat just a while longer before taking it, pulling herself up from the steps. There were surely many more tears to come. She would let them go for the moment, knowing that she and the city of New York were safer with William Lewis in prison. Liv’s gut told her the hard part wasn’t over and she couldn’t shake that. But pushing down the bile with some good food and conversation might help tonight.

“You know, I've always had a soft spot for Paula Prentiss.” She said as they walked up the steps together and back out into the hallway. The early evening was turning into night so most people had gone home for the night. Not being surrounded by all those victims and criminals was a good thing right now.

“How do you mean?” Barba asked as they walked to the elevator together.

“Paula Prentiss as the perfect best friend. I used to love _Where the Boys Are_ , my mom and I would watch it together when I was about 10 or so and I saw myself in Tuggle. I was never quite the pretty girl or the popular girl but with the right people, all of my light came through. I guess I've forever connected that with Paula. I'm glad to know I'm not the only person who does that.”

“You are quite wonderful and unique while being not so much so all at the same time.” 

“Was that a badly worded compliment?” Benson smiled again.

“It was, and I apologize. I thought Paula Prentiss was a great actress who played very engaging characters. I can see looking up to her. Her movie career should’ve been more prosperous than it was. I think her everydayness was to her benefit and detriment.”

“Now she sounds a lot like me.” Olivia stepped into the elevator and hit the L button. “Don’t let me drink too much tonight, Counselor, OK?”

“I won't. I'm also going to be watching my pizza intake; I'm susceptible to pudge.”

“What?”

“I'm susceptible to pudge. It takes a lot of work to keep this chubby cheeked look from falling below my neck. My abuelita indulged me as a child because I was always around so I was her baby. It was her job to fatten me up so there was more for her to love…if you let her tell it.”

“It sounds like she loved you dearly.”

“Oh she did…she does. Did you have that kind of relationship with your grandmother?” Rafael asked.

“No, it was just my mom and me. I wasn’t cuddled very much but we had some good memories and moments, like watching beach movies or singing Rosemary Clooney songs in hairbrushes as I got ready for school in the morning. When I got older a grandparent might have been a nice buffer between us but I had to face it all head on.”

“So you’ve been holding up your shield and stepping into the line of fire since you were a kid?”

“I have the singe marks to prove it.” Olivia replied.

They walked outside of the courthouse and down the steps. The streets were as crowded as usual. It was dinner time and Manhattan came even more alive at dinner time. Rafael walked closer to the curb to hail a cab but Olivia took hold of his sleeve.

“You don’t mind a walk do you? It’s probably about 25 minutes into the heart of Hell’s Kitchen. It’s a nice night; I don’t want to be closed up in a cab cursing about traffic.”

“Are you good to walk in those shoes?” he looked down at the black boots on her feet.

“I chase perps in these shoes. A leisurely stroll, especially with pizza at the end of it, will be fine.”

“Alright.”

Rafael buttoned his coat, January was at full roar tonight. He stuffed his scarf into his jacket and pulled his leather gloves from his pocket. He made sure that Olivia had a pair of gloves on too. If the wind off the Hudson were calm it would be a pleasant walk. Wind off the water could be biting so if not it would feel like you were walking into frostbite. 

This was especially so after the sun went down. So Rafael warmed himself with thoughts of food. Even though he was telling himself not to have more than two slices, it was still going to be really good. His warmth intensified when Olivia slipped her arm in his.

“Would you rather split a bottle of red wine or a six pack of beer?” she asked.

“Red wine, for sure.” Barba nodded. “We’ll discuss in depth which sister, Joan Fontaine or Olivia de Haviland, is the better actress.”

“I'm named after Olivia de Haviland.”

“Are you going to let that color the discussion in any way?” he asked.

“I doubt it…it’s probably not true anyway. My mother, she used to tell me things. She sometimes wanted me to think that she was happy to have me.”

“Well I can say this much for sure, the world is a better place because Olivia Benson is in it. It doesn’t make a difference who you were, or weren't, named after.”

“Sometimes you're not such an ass, Counselor.”

“I would appreciate if you kept that between us.” Rafael said.

“Cross my heart. Thanks.”

Olivia didn’t want to be alone tonight but she didn’t quite want company either. She knew that Barba wasn’t going to push her. He wasn’t going to ask over and over how she felt. He wouldn’t stamp the evening a success or failure based on getting a cheap smile out of her. They would just have pizza, wine, and talk. It wasn’t going to be about work or about what happened in the courtroom today. 

She could let that go when they were like this. There was something wonderful about being normal even when you were kinda, sorta pretending. Olivia worked so much, her colleagues became her family, so there was little escaping the NYPD. Barba worked with her too but he seemed comfortable shedding a skin with her that he didn’t with everyone else. She needed that tonight. Olivia needed it more than tonight but tonight was a good start.

***


End file.
